Blog reopening

After some thought, I've decided to come back to this blog. I obtained a few other blogspot domain names with the intent of creating a fun, whimsical lifestyle blog. It's dawned on me that Immaculate Misconceptions can be just that. Stay tuned.

Deer Woman

Deer Woman



Weeks after All Hallow's Eve, strange things can still occur. As the seasons progress the lunar orbit brings the heavenly moon ever closer to its full potential. Creatures of all sorts make haste, to bestow one last blessing or to rouse one last rile amongst other, non-hibernating critters.

Of course, I'm referring to witches.

My friend (Ted) was walking through Milwaukee's Lake Park last week. It was nearing midnight. The moon was about full. He stopped with his friend to comment on the newly installed waterfall to comment on the architecture and design, when a single lute-struck chord lofted like a mist from the pit.

At the bottom of the fall, the music crescendoed and beings cloaked in black made their presence known. My friends froze on the spot, shocked by the immediate presence of the apparitions themselves. Or, perhaps, held taught, ensnared by ungodly tongue and the serpent's charm. With barely a blink, one cloaked figure began sprinting up the hill towards them, swiftly pressing through the aged oak and cedar, defying the steep ravine's sharp decline.

Snapping back to reality, the pair shrugged off the wanna-be-supernatural and turned their backs to the scene, making their way to the Bistro- a central safe-zone and epitome of the materialistic world.

The witches were left to worship in peace. There is no doubt, however, that they still conjure around the fall's basin at times unknown.

Thankfully, there are other beings in the forest. They include coyotes, squirrels, badgers, golden elk and deer women. Deer women are like protectors, keeping the magical world checked from crossing into the real world. Obviously, they are half deer and half woman.

They are incredibly rare, mysterious, elusive and thus, barely caught on film.

However, since I'm an expert explorer, I managed to track one down. I simply had to woo her into posing for my camera. Her name is Nono. I asked her some questions.

GM: What are you?

Nono: Deer. And woman.

Gm: K. Well, is that like a half and half thing, or what's the percentage of each, uh, ethnicity?

Nono gives a blank stare.

Gm: Right. So have you always lived here in Lake Park?

Nono: I have always lived.

GM: ... but here? In this little forest in Milwaukee?

Nono: Everywhere.

GM: So you defy the physical realm. Do you teleport?

Nono: I cannot telephone. I have hooves for hands.

GM: No, I mean teleport. You're in one place and you blink and you're in some place entirely different.

Nono: Oh. No, I cannot teleport either. Again, I have hooves.

GM gives a blank stare.

GM: What do you do here? Like, on a daily basis?

Nono: Strip bark. Eat bark. Fight witches.

GM: Sounds like you're living the dream.

Nono: I also dream.

GM: Right. Back to witches. Do you have any recommendations for people (humans) walking the park paths at night? Any words of wisdom as to how to defends oneself from witches?

Nono: Carry pepper spray. It burns their eyes.

GM: Well played.








Nono was recently discovered by Tyra Banks as America's Next Top Model. She will be appearing on the cover of Vogue Italia.

Immaculate Misconceptions

Some of us were inseminated with Divine intent to carry babies. The offspring of these whores are mysterious, fatherless bastards and prodigal sons of Immaculate Conceptions.

On the other hand, the vast majority of us were inseminated with the Divine intent to just plain fuck up. We go about our day to day life, hoping we too can be the unwed holy mother of a fabaceous fetus, giving us the glimmer and glamour of adventure and human sacrifice, and labeling ourselves as forever Immortal and remembered religiously in poetry and prose. We long to be special; to procreate a story. These hopes and dreams of the masses are what I call Immaculate Misconceptions. The boredom we generate from the monotony of our humdrum routines fuel this need to create our own stories- to imagine our own Immaculate Conception.

Here at Immaculate Misconceptions, my goal is to provide you with stories. Though you may not be living your own, I'll let you partake in mine.

I want to share my daily hijinks, urban quests and remarkable whims through witty exposé and photography.

So pull on your woolly socks and let's find a story.